Birthday in Review

I had a marvelous 18th birthday!

I wasn’t too thrilled that I was going to perform on my birthday, but it turned out to be quite a fun day!

Since I didn’t really get to see Nikki much on my birthday, she came to the theatre the night before and surprised me with 18 balloons and a bag filled with 18 little gifts. She’s so clever! I love her!!

Mom, Nat, Crazy Aunt Cheryl, Max and I went and had a yummy lunch at Villa Capri.

That night we opened Cinderella and i waved my magic wand around as the Fairy Godmother.

After the show show i had the gang over for cake, ice cream, and presents! (note my lovely stage make up and messy hair!)

There was one thing i really wanted to do on my birthday and that was to go through the intersection. i’ve been through only once before since june 3 and i really wanted to see it again, mainly because I wanted to see the cross some of kenzie’s school friends had put up (pictured above.) I went with my mom and Max after lunch and I think i was more nervous this time than the first time i went through. Not only is it scary but in some way I feel so safe when I’m in that intersection and around it. I feel so connected to Makenzie there. I’m not saying that I believe her spirit is there or anything. I mean that… It was in that very intersection where I saw her, spoke to her, heard her laugh, saw her smile, saw her texting… all for the last time. As I went through it this time i tried to imagine what those moments were like right up to the accident and in so many ways how I wish i could remember. after we had gone through the intersection max told me i could let it out, and of course i did. with tears streaming down my face driving away, i realized i never even once turned my head to see the cross on the side of the road, which was the whole reason for me wanting to go! I guess I’ll just have to go again soon. i miss her so much. going to the intersection was my way of making her apart of my 18th birthday, something we had talked about for a long time.



Final Push

Usually after a performance weekend we are given the day off. But not this time… You see, we need to prepare for adjudication which is on THURSDAY! The fun never ends. We all arrived for day class today and it looked like we we were all about to faint. January was such a hectic and stressful month with trying to get Cinderella and adjudication set so now that we pushed our way through Cinderella, most of our energy is just about gone.

One thing dance has taught me is that you can always find energy to just push a little bit harder to make it to the end.  When you think you can’t do anymore you find just a some ounce of energy and strength to finish it. I’ve tried to apply this to my non-dance life (i know, i actually have one). sometimes i feel like i just can’t go on or that i don’t have the energy to make it. but then this thought pops into my head, “life is good. why are you being dramatic?”

Life is so good. Im 18 and an adult. My family is in good health and loves me so much. I’m getting payed to do what I love. I’m in love with my best friend. I have friends that, even though they are far away, care about me so much and call me up just to check on me. I’m moving to New York before the year ends to pursue my dreams. God has blessed me with talents and people that help me see the beauty in day to day things.

Even though some pretty crappy things have happened in my life, i know that they are just challenges that I need to learn from. you can always take something out of every situation you are in. As i make this final push for adjudication (both mentally and physically) i know that come Friday i will have a sense of accomplishment and that from here on out things will be a little more calm.



photo credit: jacqueline kopra

This is the verb I’m trying so desperately to do. It seems like these days I get worked up so easily and many have told me that I just really need to calm down, relax, and enjoy life.

First Cinder dress reh is tonight. Let’s see if I can apply all of the above tonight.

something i’ve always wondered

One of my favorite opening songs in a musical is called “Another Op’nin, Another Show” from Kiss me Kate. In the song, there are these lyrics,

“Four weeks you rehearse and rehearse.

Three weeks and it couldn’t be worse.

One week-will it ever be right?

Then out of the hat its that big first night.”

What i’ve always wondered is, what about two weeks?! whats wrong with week 2?! well tomorrow is two weeks before cinderella opens and i know im not the only one stressin about it!


shows shows shows!

working on three different shows right now. the first being the ballet, “Cinderella” which plays february 5, 6, and 7. the second is our ballet company’s ajudication for the rda festival which is a free performance on february 11. and the third one is rafa’s bsw, “The Music Man.” we’re hard at work on all three productions and i’m very excited for all of them.

there’s one other “performance” and that is a vocal concert i’m directing to raise money for the bahbt scholarship committee. it’s in honor and memory of dear makenzie stocker. Many knew her as a dancer but not many knew of her beautiful vocal talents. as i’ve said before, some of my favorite memories i have of her is when we’d be singing at the top of our lungs in her car.

the concert is going to be on march 27th at 7:30pm. more details forthcoming!

2010… so far so good

I’m not expecting this to be a perfect year but I’m expecting it to be better than the last. I’m happy to say that as of right now, things are looking good. Of course there have been some rough patches, but I know that there always will be. Here are some things I’m really looking forward to that are coming up real soon:

-“Wonderland” at the Alley Theatre

-Feb 5: i turn 18!

-Feb 5-7: Cinderella

-Feb 11: Ajudication

-hopefully some more photoshoots after feb 11!

how’s this new decade been so far for you?